My Faith in Christ

 Today. 

Today, over six months ago, I awoke to the realization that all of the events of the night before, had really happened. 

I had watched my Dad die. 

After years of watching his health decline; from him hobbling around in his custom-made boot, to a walker, and, finally, a wheelchair. Taking him from one appointment to another, where every visit was just more bad news. 

Every phone call and visit with him mattered more, after he was given his death sentence of one to six months-especially when we knew that the six months was highly optimistic.

"I've lived a good life," he told me over the phone after we received the news. "I'm not afraid to die." 

But I was afraid. I was afraid that what I had been taught all my life would not be true when the moment came for my dad to leave this life for the next. What if Jesus didn't really overcome death? What if there is nothing after this life?

This Easter weekend is the first time when I can relate to Jesus' family, friends and disciples on a higher level. 

Because today, over 2000 years ago, was the first day they woke up to no Jesus. 

The first full day without Him. 

What were they thinking? What were they feeling?

I bet they were thinking the same thing I was thinking that first full day without Dad. 

"I can't believe He's really gone." 

"Will we ever see Him again?"

"How can we continue life without Him?"

"Was it all real?"

For three days they felt this crushing despair. For three days, they floated between faith and faithlessness. There were lots of tears. There was a lot of numbness. There were moments of reflection over their last conversations with Him. There were questions, doubts, relief at saying what they said; finishing the conversations that they finished with Him; mourning over the fact that they would never speak to Him again. 

But then...three days later...

Well, all of their sorrows, their sadness, their misery had an end! He arose! He was resurrected! Hallelujah!

I still wait for the day when my dad will come back. But the beauty in what Jesus did, is with me today. 

Because...I didn't have to wait for three days to be filled with the strength of the Lord. He was and IS with me!

When I feel sorrow, it is lighter. 

When I miss my dad and I just don't want to think about it, Jesus is with me to sift through those emotions.

When I cry because I miss Him, I know Jesus is crying with me, too. 

I want to share a final moment that is very sacred to me. Before my dad died, I had a really low moment. I begged  the Lord to let my dad live. 

"I'm not ready to lose my dad," I had said. There were so many tears. 

But then...there was something that is more valuable to me than anything that I had ever experienced in my life. 

I was filled with peace. 

My sadness wasn't gone, but it was alleviated. My tears dried up, but I knew they would come back from time to time. 

But I KNEW something that I hadn't KNOWN before that moment. 

Jesus was with me, and He would NEVER leave me. 

My dad would die, but I WOULD see him again. 

I hope and pray that when you go through a loss as total and significant as losing a loved one to the claws of death, that you will learn as I have...

Jesus is REAL. Jesus REALLY died, and Jesus REALLY was resurrected on the third day!

I know this, because Jesus didn't die two millennia ago, and stayed dead.

Because six months ago until today, He is with me! 

I know this as I know my own name. It was truth I had to earn through losing my dad. It is truth we all learn as we face death in whatever way it comes. 

There is a beautiful scripture in the Book of Mormon that gives me so much peace and comfort. 

It is found in the book of Alma. Alma is speaking to his son, Shiblon, and giving him counsel. In Alma chapter 38 verse 5 it reads, 

"And now my son, Shiblon, I would that you should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much as ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and you shall be lifted up at the last day."

We shall be delivered from all of these things. We are delivered from them, as soon as we have faith in Christ. 

I know He lives. 

I know He is with us.

I know He died, and three days later, He arose from the grave. 

With that knowledge, I KNOW that I will see my dad again. I will see my uncle again. My cousin. My grandparents. All who have been lost.

YOU can know this for yourself, as you seek Jesus in your life. Why would you want to find him?

Why not?

To have peace when it cannot be found elsewhere.

To feel divine love.

To know you are valued and appreciated and acknowledged. 

To be able to overcome all of the hard things in your life. 

Jesus is with you. Find yourself with Him.